I am not a mother. I do not hold the responsibility of guiding another human through the beginning stages of life, or putting anyone’s needs before mine. I don’t wake up at 6am to make lunches and at 8pm, I’m usually on a patio somewhere having a drink, not bending over a bathtub picking up action figures out of soapy bathwater while a lil person runs around trying to avoid bedtime. I don’t know exactly how to burp a baby ( I think it’s a combination of a counter-clockwise rub and a hard pat on the back) and to be honest with you, it takes me a pretty long time to change a diaper. I haven’t done it in a while, so I’m not sure what sort of technological advancements have come along in the diaper world but last I checked, it took me about 10 minutes. I’m sure by now they got rid of those “not sticky enough” side tabs and they’ve come up with some sort of slip on diaper.
If right now you’re thinking that I know nothing about raising a child and that I would make a not so great mother, you’re wrong. I’d be a great mom. Ok, so it takes me half an episode of ‘Everybody loves Raymond’ to change a diaper, but I have a lot of love to give and I feel that I can provide a little human the tools they need to be a great person. I have some great examples. I’ve taken something from my mother and each of my best friends Malayika & Lala ‘s parenting skills.
Let’s start with Lala since she’s the one that y’all are most familiar with. She started going by Lala not long ago but to me, that’s Laurel. The homie. La and I became friends at a Dead Prez concert in Toronto in 2010 , we started going to hip hop concerts together and then out came Bad-Perm.com. Read our bio to get the whole story. Shortly after meeting Laurel, I met her three wonderful children. We’ve spent time together everywhere from shopping malls to funerals. I’ve witnessed her parenting skills and how she handles situations with the youngins and the biggest thing I learned from Laurel is how to be a good friend to your children. She definitely isn’t a push over or someone who lets their kids run free, but she doesn’t need to yell. She speaks, they listen. She doesn’t talk to her kids like they are babies and with that, I can see her youngest son act as if he’s much older than he is.
She’s a single mother, works a full time job, has a 2 hour commute ( each way) from work, is the editor in chief of Bad-Perm.com and my right hand (wo)man. This is a woman I admire. I have a hard time keeping up with this site and I have no kids…and no job. Her love for hip hop and for involvement within the entertainment industry have her drive working in overtime lately as we try to make our site bigger and better. She’s beautiful, smart,goes to 5 soccer practices a week, 3 ballet practices, 2 Tae Kwon Do classes and somewhere between it all she sleeps for 3-4 hours a night after posting a few things on the site for the next day. Happy Mothers Day to my favorite multi-faceted mama, Lala.
You may know Malayika as the lady who runs the event listings on bad-perm.com but to me, Malayika is my angel. I’m serious. She laughs when I say it but its true. Whenever I’m at my lowest, she sweeps in and saves the day. Malayika is a mother who loves to be very involved with her child. Even though she has family that is able to pick up her son for her after school, she arranges her work schedule so that she can reach his classroom by 3:45pm because she wants those minutes with her little man. I’ve done the after school run with Malayika and I can see that it’s a time when her and her son really get to bond. It’s only a few blocks from school to the house but within those blocks they talk about nature around them, animals they see, cars that are parked, his day at school…everything and anything. One thing I admire about her is that she gives her child all the time he wants and needs. She does the same with her hubby. She is the only person I know who sets a schedule for time to spend with her husband and then separate time to spend with her son. Everyone gets what they need from this woman, including me. She spreads herself evenly amongst those in her life and sticks to her schedule.
As of lately, Malayika’s son has begun to enjoy telling ‘stories’. No matter how little sense the story makes or how long it takes him to spit it out, Malayika sits there and listens, and at the end, asks him questions. I remember once he got SOOOOO hype when telling us something that she asked him to slow down and do some breathing exercises. He sat in his chair, while doing homework, and began to inhale and exhale slowly with his eyes closed. Every time I do yoga I try to reach the level of Zen that this little boy experienced with a crayon in his hand and I fail. Amazing. Happy Mothers Day to the most involved mother I know, Malayika.
Last but not least, Christine aka my mom. In my 27 years of life ( that she provided me lol) I have never met a woman who is more organized than my mother. She keeps her home clean at all times and has everything in boxes with labels on them. She is basically a cooler version of a Stepford wife. She’s like…the perfect housekeeper. But that’s not all she does. She works her ass off. When I was younger I remember she worked at Knob Hill Farms as a cashier in the day and then for a little while at The Bay in the evening to save enough money for us to go on a trip. She still found time to iron everything though ( even socks, I’m sure of it) and you’d never find dust anywhere in our home. My mother pays all her bills on time or early, she is never late for anything, and she cooks a meal everyday. She is the most responsible person I know. Me? Not so much when I’m compared to her. I have to admit, it’s really hard to keep up with life’s demands and be as responsible as my mother is. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to fill her shoes when it comes to holding down a household and giving 2 growing kids everything they need. Happy Mother’s Day to the most organized woman I know, my Mom.
I may not have all the skills I need to raise a child, but through these 3 women I’ve picked up some amazing traits that will help me become the best mother I can be. Happy Mother’s Day to all the mama’s out there and especially to these 3. Love you guys!